Saturday morning 'me-time', effortless fleeting between coffee stops and retail treats but somehow always results in some form of unnecessary expenditure, the kind that always seems like such a good idea at the time. I have no doubt that there is a likely correlation between my appetite for ‘stuff' and my appetite for caffeine, but looking down on this week's me-time acquisitions it is a hype of a euphoric state, rather than hysteric.
I am a Marketeer’s dream. But I am not unique. I am just one of a very large underground secret club. In fact, I am sure I have seen some of you before….?
Its kind of like Fight Club, same rules apply. To talk about it would suggest we don’t actually need the things we buy, which of course is ridiculous. Forget subliminal messaging. For members of Swipe Club, our Achilles heel has a direct link to our brain, which is directly linked to our credit card. It’s that simple.
There is no secret handshake or sorority ring to this underworld, indeed the behaviour of the must-have impulse shopper is worthy of MI5 membership. There are a few tell-tale signs - typically a Dyson, the obligatory Elizabeth Arden 8-hour cream and categorically a set of GHDs (there is no other). Men tend to be slightly more elusive but are equally as die-hard – look out for battery powered disposable razors, or let's face it anything in the overpriced gadget category, but hidden deep there is a usually a secret tanning lotion and/or anti-wrinkle man-cream. (Oh, and GHDs….ssshhhh).
But where does marketing genius end and real ‘need’ begin?
Nappies are now so paradoxically flexible and water-tight that you could probably keep your goldfish in them. Breakfast cereals offer a dress size reduction in a matter of days. Mascara now plumps, thickens, lengthens, shines, curls all with one sweep of a magic mascara wand. The scent and softness of our washing powder-come-liquid-come-gel is as important as our cologne, even our living rooms have become a perfumed apothecary.
So as I set off to 'shampoo my swish', I will see you all at our next secret ……oops, first rule, nobody talks about swipe club….
‘Til next time, Pandora
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